Perfect timing....

I've discovered Pandora recently. You know the online radio station where you create the station. I'm absolutely convinced that it can read minds...well at least read mine. When I'm feeling New agey...the Enigma station. When I'm feeling angsty...Into the Void station. As I'm writing this blog, I'm listening to the Enigma station...but up comes Duran Duran, Come Undone. This is a great song and a interesting question; Who do I need when I come undone? The only person I love when I come undone is myself, because I feel me. All of me, just being alive and able to feel again. I will never once lose any feeling I have ever again. No one will ever tell me I should feel a certain way or that it's not right to feel the way I do. I have this amazing ability to grasp and understand feeling; I had thought I had lost. What I realized is that I never lost anything...I just forgot. I forgot to trust myself. I forgot to love myself. I forgot to even like myself. I didn't have to force myself to remember...I just had to wipe the sleep out of my eyes. I had to flip open the shades. I had to forgive.

I forgive you...I forgive you for holding me back. I forgive you for making me feel I don't deserve to be happy. I forgive you for not letting me dance and sing. I forgive you....

But never again. Never again will I sleepwalk through my life. I will run full force into the fire and feel every bit of the burn. And what a lovely way to feel....on fire.