Backwards

On any given day, I wish I could take my life and live it by walking backwards. Everything that comes flooding at me on a daily basis would have to just stay right where it is, I could completely assess them all because I would have the time walking away from but still concentrating. I would see the answer before the question. I could catch myself before I trip over myself. I can walk away from someone before they walk away from me.
If we all looked at something from the other side than what we're used to, wouldn't that be essentially doing it backwards?
My constant meandering consists of thoughts such as these, but today for some reason are getting so lost. I feel lost and unsure of anything I'm feeling. I feel like the rug I'm standing on is going to get sawed from underneath like in the cartoons and I'm just going to be left to fall into an abyss of misguided decisions and promises never kept. I'm tired of everything being put on my shoulders and not being able to live the way I want to live. I feel as though my body and mind are disattached from each other. I feel bound; my hands, feet, mouth, by metallic silver duct tape so that I feel completely helpless. And I'm not sure if the fear is being kept feeling this way; or by the sting, once I've decided the tape needs to be ripped off. Pain is just how you perceive it, so I say...rip off piece by piece, in fact I say rip it off slowly so I can feel each piece make it's mark. I will embrace my perception and become stronger to the fact that being on the outside looking in is a great way live backwards.