It seemed like forever...

When you are a child, you're taught to dream and wish and wonder. And you do...."What do I want to be when I grow up?" And as you grow, "I wonder what my life will be like?" Then you grow up and all those daydreams and wishes are forgotten. Some of us are lucky, we persue what it is we thought and wanted in our innocence. I myself had forgotten...for a long time; too long. And then something happens or changes to bring you back to those simpler times, when the best part of your day was to just be with yourself...taking a walk or lying on the grass and looking up at the sky. Remembering the day and taking it all in. Reflecting on what is truly important.
When that something you realized was missing; you always racked your little brain to find what that was and make sure you remembered. I had forgotten how much love should be a part of everyone's life. Life begins with love, continues with love, and ends with love. A never ending circle of hope designed to make you the person you're supposed to be. And some of the lucky ones happen to find a person who understands this and desires nothing more than to realize this with you. We may happen to take a shortcut or the long way around but at the end, you should have someone in front of you that brings the best part of you into the light. The child who wondered and dreamed and wished.
I have felt a lot of emotions over the past couple of years. Emotions I think we're warranted to make me remember this one fact. Everyone is deserving of someone who truly understands you. Someone to dream about the next moment, minute, day with. Someone who with one look feels the same way and does not have to use words for you to understand. Someone who makes the world seem beautiful and unpredictable; and yet makes you feel completely safe in being who you are.
It's been along time since I trusted my faith in all things reason. I've always said everything happens for a reason. And I've always stood by that mantra. But it's funny, when something happens in your life to open your eyes to the possibilities of all things dreampt and wished for, that one simple statement can turn into the bigger picture. My dreams, which once seemed petty and discarded, have breath and life. My wishes are no longer just that, they're desires to be realize with someone I love. I'm thankful for the day that with one simple look, my life decided to begin and I am able to dream, wish, and wonder once again.

traveling...

sedentary happiness is a cop out
must I have to do everything myself
no, but stars don't just fall down from the sky
they begin where everything begins
at the bottom of the stairs
step by step
1...2...3...4...5..6...7..11
why don't I see what I need to see
driving off a no where, no how, one way
but there's always 3 choices to choose from
which way did you go?
turn around....

Teeth chattering....

As I sit here in my room, freezing though I'm under the covers tucked in...I wonder how I'm feeling. It's been an interesting few days...full of old friends and new alike; changes wonderous and fair, and quiet. Peace and quiet... a wise man told me I needed to find the quiet within myself. He was right. I thought I would need him to help me...and when it came down to it, I just thought of him and the last conversation we had and it was like a light was turned on in my head. I can see and feel and control my own peace. I'm in charge of my own Jedi mind tricks.
Jesus (aka Ryan) made me see what Grey is. When friendship is exactly what you put forth. And when to realize that it's ok to ask for a little happiness now and then. It was a fantastic night. I'm ready for what tomorrow will bring.