Indifference

How much difference does it make? If I feel bad, if I feel sad. If I feel so angry that the sides of my face start to bubble like hot lava...how much difference does it make. I'm not going to change the way I feel. The same outcome is going to come to be...so why don't I get to be content with the decision I have made. Why do I need to censor myself or my feelings? Why can't I just be...because if I don't get to be...you'll see the painful, twisted up, contortionistic fascist that my heart and brain feel it really is.